


Forever Ago

by tobeconspicuous



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Canon Compliant, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Reunions, Set during early season 16, but doesn't make an appearance, the moustache gets a mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 11:59:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14954274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobeconspicuous/pseuds/tobeconspicuous
Summary: A picture of Rafael standing on the balcony bathed in the remaining light of the setting sun. One of Sonny inside the impressive Sagrada Familia, a look of wonder on his face. Another of Rafael sleeping, wrapped tight in crisp, white linens which he remembered so well.“Care to explain, counselor?”





	Forever Ago

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrbarbacarisi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrbarbacarisi/gifts).



> For mrbarbacarisi, it's been wonderful getting to know you over the last couple of months. Who asked for an alternate first meeting for their birthday, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> This is also my 30th Barisi fic!! So many thanks to those in the fandom who have been supportive of all my endeavours, you are very much loved.
> 
> Special thanks as always to ChameleonCircuit for their wonderful support for acting as a beta for this fic, and for giving me the initial idea for this fic. They really make my writing so much better.
> 
> I do not own, only enjoy, and I hope you do too. Feedback is very much appreciated.

If it wasn’t for the mustache Rafael would have recognized him as soon as he walked in the room that first day. In fact he was embarrassed that Carisi had been working at SVU for almost a month, that it had taken the man shaving for Rafael to remember exactly why his voice sounded so familiar. 

It had always been a dream of Rafael’s to visit Barcelona, and when one of his friends offered him their family’s guest house for one summer he jumped on the opportunity. It was his first vacation since he graduated from Harvard, his first summer spent living abroad, and the first time he ever had ever fallen in love.

It had felt like a dream.

They had both been so much younger then. Carisi, no  _ Sonny _ , was fresh out of the Academy. He had wanted to spend his last summer seeing the world before he devoted himself to his career. He was baby faced, wide eyed, bushy tailed-- each and every stereotype imaginable.  


Rafael had fallen for him quickly.  


It had been a whirlwind of a romance, an entire summer spent in one another's company, not a care in the world. Until it had come to an abrupt end. Both men parted almost in tears, with promises that they would keep in contact which neither of them actually planned to keep.  


As he grew older, Rafael’s mind would travel back to long nights spent at the guest house, overlooking the ocean, he and his young lover making love with the windows wide open and the summer breeze wafting through, their own slice of heaven.  


Now, almost fifteen years later staring at the man he once loved, Rafael tried not to let his surprise show. He ran through the case with the squad and once it was over he turned on his heel and walked out the door.  


Once he was comfortably settled in his office he breathed a sigh of relief. Sonny, no  _ Carisi _ , clearly didn’t remember him. If he did surely he would have approached Rafael by now. The detective had never held back unsolicited commentary before.  


It was a bittersweet relief that he would keep the memories of a young handsome blond to himself, a rosy-hued fantasy. Carisi would never know that the Spaniard he had once whispered his darkest secrets to, that he had once held as they fell asleep under moonlight’s kiss, was actually Rafael Barba.

The fantasy would remain his, a secret that danced at the tip of his tongue. A secret that he would never feel the need to relieve himself of. There was no need to ruin perfection by bringing it to air.

Carisi clearly had other plans.

It was late, Rafael was in his office preparing his opening argument for trial and avoiding going home to an empty apartment. There was a knock at the door, and Rafael went silent, hoping the unexpected visitor would leave if he thought the office unoccupied.  


Instead Carisi crashed through the door, and stormed towards Rafael. He threw several polaroids, which slid across the desk. Rafael couldn’t help but glimpse at the photo’s, each one igniting an almost forgotten memory.  


A picture of Rafael standing on the balcony bathed in the remaining light of the setting sun. One of Sonny inside the impressive Sagrada Familia, a look of wonder on his face. Another of Rafael sleeping, wrapped tight in crisp, white linens which he remembered so well.  


Rafael looked up at Carisi, who just glared back at him. “Care to explain, counselor?”  


Rafael looked back down at the polaroids, he carefully picked each one up and examined it before he arranged them into a neat pile. He set them down on his desk and slowly lifted his gaze to meet the detectives, his features carefully arranged to not betray any emotion.

“I remember this summer,” he answered vaguely as he leaned back in his chair. “Barcelona?” He carefully gauged Carisi’s reaction to the city. “I spent that summer in my friend’s guest house--”  


“Yeah,” Carisi cut him off. “I remember.”  


Rafael squinted slightly before allowing a warm chuckle to escape. “I remember you now. I do have to admit the mustache threw me off.”  


“Yeah, well…” Carisi shrugged before he leaned over, placing his hands on either side of the desk. “So it’s safe to say you’re not actually Spanish then?”  


“Clearly not,” Rafael’s face tinged pink at the remembered lie.  


“Why didn’t you say anything?” Carisi persisted, clearly hurt.  


“You never asked,” Rafael tried to deflect. “You’re the one who assumed I was Spanish.”  


“You were speaking Spanish!” Carisi exclaimed. He sat himself in one of Rafael’s chair before he continued. “You never corrected that assumption!”  


“I enjoyed the fantasy,” Rafael cocked his brow. “Didn’t you?”  


The two of them sat in silence, neither of them quite knowing how to proceed. It was Carisi who broke first. His almost whispered statement seemed to echo around the room. “I looked for you.”

Rafael almost missed it. “Excuse me?”

“I looked for you,” he repeated a little louder, a little more confidently. “The next summer I went back hoping to find you, you were gone.”

Rafael imagined Carisi walking down the narrow path to the guest house, knocking on the polished wooden door only to be met with disappointment. 

“I’m sorry,” the words tumbled out before Rafael was aware he had said them. He was surprised by how honest those two little words were. If he knew that Carisi was looking for him, maybe he would have returned, maybe things could have gone differently.

“I used to lie awake at night and think of you,” Carisi’s tone was wistful. “Imagining what could have been. You were the first person I have ever really been myself around.”

“Carisi--”

“Sonny,” he corrected, a small smile on his face.

“For me that summer was about escaping who I was,” each word felt like a confession. “I expected to spend the summer on the beach drinking margaritas. Instead I meet this vivacious twenty-one year old who wore his heart on his sleeve.”

Sonny spluttered. “I didn’t--”

“You did,” Rafael couldn’t help the small smile. “You still do.” He leaned forward to glance once more at the photos piled neatly upon his desk. “If you recognized me from the start, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wasn’t sure at first,” Sonny admitted. “I felt as though I knew you but I wasn’t sure from where.” He slouched back in the chair. “It wasn’t until the other day that I had the idea to look for my old photos.”

“Oh?” Rafael cocked a brow, managing to keep calm while his heart was racing. “Why?”

“The look in your eye,” a warm smile crept across the detective’s face. “I had seen it before, all those years ago.”

“And here I thought I had managed to hide it,” Rafael muttered to himself. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What could I have said?” Sonny chuckled. “‘Hey counselor I think I’ve been in love with you for fifteen years?’” He sighed loudly, his tone bitter. “You would have laughed in my face.”

The stinging truth of Sonny’s words made Rafael flinch. It would have been so easy to dismiss the detective. Even now he was itching to throw him out of the office, to slam the door in Sonny’s face and retreat back to his loneliness. Instead he took a deep breath and pushed him to continue. 

“And yet you’re here?” He picked up the polaroids and tossed them back to Sonny. “With evidence.”

“Courage,” the correction was soft. “Even though I knew it deep within my bones, I needed proof that it was you.”

Rafael was unsure what to say to that. All he could feel was his heart hammering in his chest.

“Sonny,” the name felt foreign on his tongue. “I—”

“Do you ever think about that summer, and what could have been?” There was a wistful tone to Sonny’s question.

Rafael took a deep breath, though he wanted to shout the answer it came out as barely a whisper. “Yes.” 

Sonny slowly rose to his feet and took a step towards Rafael. The look in his cerulean eyes was so intense, it set every inch of Rafael alight. His tongue swept over soft pink lips, fully hypnotizing the prosecutor.

“Me too,” he whispered before taking another step towards Rafael.

He knew that Sonny was silently posing him a question, yet he wanted to hear it. He wanted to draw the Staten Island drawl that had haunted his dreams for over a decade, wanted to feel it wash over him. 

“So, detective,” he purred, the cockiness of his tone hopefully hid the nervousness he felt. “What now?”

“Ever considered turning a dream into reality?” Sonny asked, Rafael’s attitude seemed to embolden him. “Cause we only get a few second chances, and I’d rather not waste this one.” Rafael rose to his feet and moved around his desk so he was standing opposite Sonny. 

Sonny, who was looking at him with soft eyes and a matching smile. Who looked at Rafael as though he was the best thing he had ever seen. The over eager detective who was studying to be a lawyer— Rafael wondered for a moment if he had been the one to inspire that choice.

He took another deep breath and stepped towards Sonny. “I’m not as young as I was then.” They were now so close Rafael could practically feel the warmth radiating from the younger man.

“Neither am I,” Sonny chuckled.

Rafael continued, surprised at the warmth of his tone. “And you’re aware of what I am like at work.”

“Sure am,” he cocked his head to the side.

Rafael sighed. “I am exactly like that at home.”

“Good to know,” he brushed off the explanation.

Rafael allowed himself to look directly into Sonny's blue eyes. “I’m not one for romance.

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Sonny teased, he raised his hand to brush some hair off Rafael’s forehead.

He refused to flinch. “Why not, detective?”  


“You’re about to kiss me like you haven’t seen me in fifteen years,” Sonny’s tone was low and surprisingly sexy. It sent a shiver right through Rafael.  


He couldn’t help but agree. “That’s because I really haven’t.”

He reached up to cup the back of Sonny’s head before he slowly brought him down to meet his lips in a soft, gentle kiss. As their lips pressed together Rafael felt that same spark, that same electricity that he had felt all those years ago. Memories of summer nights spent lazing on the beach with Sonny was nothing compared to the feel of the detective beneath his hands now. 

Sonny’s hands rested on his hips, pulling him tighter, closer. Rafael couldn’t help but moan into his mouth. This was what he had been searching so long for, absolute perfection.

When they finally broke the kiss, Rafael felt the corner of his mouth twitch into a small smile. But the smile that Sonny was giving him in return? Truly breathtaking.

“So…” The detective trailed off, his gaze mischievous. “How about we pick things up where we left off?”

“I do know a nice little restaurant that does exceptional margaritas,” Rafael chuckled, his hand still rested on the back of Sonny’s neck.

“Lead the way,” Sonny murmured.

Before he could take a step away Rafael pulled him into another kiss. He had finally found his summer lover, and after all, he was never one to turn down perfection. Well, not again.

As they walked out of his office hand in hand Rafael couldn’t help but sneak another glance at Sonny. The man looked truly content. Rafael squeezed his hands before letting out a small happy sigh, a single word crossing his mind.

‘ _ Finally.’ _  


  
  
  



End file.
